Trusting God is Hard!

Two Sundays ago the church I attend announced a One in a Million offering that will go towards church planting, making contacts with one million New Yorkers this year and special needs projects. I thought about how I could be a part of it. I haven't had a job since June when I left Haiti, so I don't have income to contribute.

I looked at the memory verse for this week, "They should be good in good works and should give generously to those in need, always being ready to share with others whatever God has given them." (1 Tim 6:18) I thought, well, the one thing God has given me is time. I can volunteer.

I've done quite a bit over the past few weeks whether for The Journey (my church) or for other organizations around the city. But, I still want to give money! I want to have a job with income so I can give money! Partly out of frustration and (in hindsight) partly as test for God, I thought, "Okay, God, any income I get this week will be yours." I had no idea how I would make any money.

When I arrived in New York last month, my friend Mary Anne asked if I'd gotten my economic stimulus payment. No, and I didn't expect to get one because I'd been living overseas so that probably disqualified me. She said I should check anyway. It so happens that my tax return was lost somewhere in the abyss between my office in Haiti and the weary federal worker charged with processing returns.

Mary Anne urged me to file again before the October 15 deadline and maybe I'd get $300 or more dollars. I was skeptical but did it anyway. Well, wouldn't you know, on that Monday I checked the status of my return and $300 was scheduled to be deposited in my account this past Friday. I also found my ideal job posted with the Clinton Foundation-- Program Coordinator for Haiti.

I gave the money joyfully on Sunday and thought to myself, "I just might be crazy, but God, I promised so here it is." On Monday night Mary Anne told me I need to move off her couch because she has relatives coming for the holidays. Eek! I need to find somewhere else to live! My underlying thought was, "I'm just going to trust God!"

This morning when I went to send my cover letter and resume for the job posted with the Clinton Foundation, the posting was no longer on-line!! Maybe they had already found someone even though the posting had only been up one week. I sent it anyway. It bounced back. I went on the website and found a different e-mail address and sent it again.

All day while I was volunteering at Doctors Without Borders and writing names on envelopes I kept saying, "I trust you, God. I trust you, God." partly as a mantra to not freak out. In 31 years He has never let me down. Why should I fret now?

I came home this evening and started looking for more positions to apply for. I checked my e-mail and found a request for an interview for this Friday for the position I applied for this morning! Amazing! I said, "Thank you, thank you, thank you" to God (and cried a little!).

I can't wait to see what happens next.

One Month On: My Experience So Far

New York!
NEW YORK!

Appearing on The View and receiving free gifts(iPod speakers and a book)
Staying with a great roommate, Mary Anne
Receiving an iPod nano as a gift
Feeling blessed

Walking across the Brooklyn Bridge at sunset
Walking in Prospect Park, on Broadway, Times Square, Columbus Circle on Columbus Day
Shopping for boots, browsing really
Walking on the beach, lots of seagulls, lots of wind
Feeling tired, but elated

Writing cover letters, cover letters, cover letters and resume updates
Interviewing for volunteer work

Walking, walking, walking catching the bus, catching the train
Seeing the neighbor in his whitey tighties strolling to his car
Seeing homeless and beggars, hustlers on the train
Feeling not too far from Haiti

Observing people, all nationalities- Haitian, Dominican, Pakistani, Indian, Russian, Chinese, Korean, Senegalese, Omani, Guyanian, Mexican
Being confused for Russian
Attending seminars and lectures- conflict mediation, AIDS, nuclear disarmament, Cuba
Feeling curious and intellectual

Eating food on the run
Eating sushi, stuffed mushrooms, spinach pie, baked penne, baby spinach salad, panceta panini
Meeting new people
Networking
Meeting more people
Sending out cover letters and resumes
Feeling frustrated
Attending church, attending growth group
Feeling encouraged

Volunteering for Doctor's Without Borders
Volunteering at church
Volunteering and writing with women of color
Feeling content

Enjoying New York!